dance away the blues
friends and readers,
i am in the midst of moving my blog for reasons i prefer not to disclose. if you would like to know the new address, feel free to send me a message on facebook or e-mail me.
love, coffee and clean sheets,
jb
2/25/2010
moving on.
dance away the blues
friends and readers,
i am in the midst of moving my blog for reasons i prefer not to disclose. if you would like to know the new address, feel free to send me a message on facebook or e-mail me.
love, coffee and clean sheets,
jb
2/17/2010
what i didn't expect.
some of you may have already heard about my recent awkward encounters with my next-door-neighbour. she is a sweet and very old woman and aside from occasionally seeing her in the porch or the laundry room, we never seemed to have much contact until a few weeks ago.
it started with a knock on my door and her waiting to speak to me about my mom. she told me we were related and that mom was her aunt...it struck me as bizarre since, a) mom had never mentioned any relations in my building and b) this woman is much older than my mother. either way, i didn't want to confuse my neighbour further so i just played along until it was time for me to go to work.
what followed over the next few days were occasional knocks at the door from my neighbour. she wanted to see me or she wanted to come into the apartment. then her visits to the door became more frequent and she seemed more insistent to enter my home. the only thing i could do was to ask my landlord to contact her children so that they may help ease her confusion and keep her company.
about a million questions crossed my mind: "why is this woman alone?", "what if she wanders off and puts herself in danger?", "does she have many visitors?". none of my questions were answered. i never ran into my neighbours' children to ask them these questions.
i can only assume that my neighbour is, whether in her apartment or not, safe. she has not been to my door in over a week and i hope it is because she's been given the company or the care necessary to keep her occupied and safe.
my first job was at a nursing home. it was my job to feed the residents. many of the residents suffered from alzheimer's disease or dementia; some of them, parkinson's disease. it often happened that those i fed thought i was a grandchild or relative of some sort and the nursing staff advised we just politely play along but concentrate on getting the patients to eat. while i was incredibly sad and confused regarding my neighbour and her living situation, i was also slightly bothered that my day revolved around when she happened to be knocking. i didn't want to leave the apartment when she was standing right outside the door - i felt uncomfortable. it seemed i had forgotten all that i had experienced as a fifteen year-old at the nursing home.
then i picked up a book at the library. i didn't have a clue what the book was about but i did recognize the cover from a recent visit to coles bookstore. my aunt, to my mom, had also mentioned that she couldn't put the book down - i just couldn't remember what it was about.
the book is lisa genova's novel "still alice". it's a new york times bestseller and while it is a book about a successful woman having been diagnosed with early-onset alzheimer's disease, it's offered me a new way of looking at the current situation in my hallway. it's also given me a different pair of eyes to look with at my neighbour and what she might be experiencing or feeling.
i am aware that i am not a medical professional and that i do not know the exact details of what is amiss in my neighbour's brain. i also know that this novel is not a study or journal on elderly women dealing with confusion but the confusion and disorientation experienced by the main character in "still alice" might be something akin to what the woman next door experiences. either way, the book is breaking my heart and i feel guilty for ever having felt slightly annoyed by my neighbour.
it started with a knock on my door and her waiting to speak to me about my mom. she told me we were related and that mom was her aunt...it struck me as bizarre since, a) mom had never mentioned any relations in my building and b) this woman is much older than my mother. either way, i didn't want to confuse my neighbour further so i just played along until it was time for me to go to work.
what followed over the next few days were occasional knocks at the door from my neighbour. she wanted to see me or she wanted to come into the apartment. then her visits to the door became more frequent and she seemed more insistent to enter my home. the only thing i could do was to ask my landlord to contact her children so that they may help ease her confusion and keep her company.
about a million questions crossed my mind: "why is this woman alone?", "what if she wanders off and puts herself in danger?", "does she have many visitors?". none of my questions were answered. i never ran into my neighbours' children to ask them these questions.
i can only assume that my neighbour is, whether in her apartment or not, safe. she has not been to my door in over a week and i hope it is because she's been given the company or the care necessary to keep her occupied and safe.
my first job was at a nursing home. it was my job to feed the residents. many of the residents suffered from alzheimer's disease or dementia; some of them, parkinson's disease. it often happened that those i fed thought i was a grandchild or relative of some sort and the nursing staff advised we just politely play along but concentrate on getting the patients to eat. while i was incredibly sad and confused regarding my neighbour and her living situation, i was also slightly bothered that my day revolved around when she happened to be knocking. i didn't want to leave the apartment when she was standing right outside the door - i felt uncomfortable. it seemed i had forgotten all that i had experienced as a fifteen year-old at the nursing home.
then i picked up a book at the library. i didn't have a clue what the book was about but i did recognize the cover from a recent visit to coles bookstore. my aunt, to my mom, had also mentioned that she couldn't put the book down - i just couldn't remember what it was about.
the book is lisa genova's novel "still alice". it's a new york times bestseller and while it is a book about a successful woman having been diagnosed with early-onset alzheimer's disease, it's offered me a new way of looking at the current situation in my hallway. it's also given me a different pair of eyes to look with at my neighbour and what she might be experiencing or feeling.
i am aware that i am not a medical professional and that i do not know the exact details of what is amiss in my neighbour's brain. i also know that this novel is not a study or journal on elderly women dealing with confusion but the confusion and disorientation experienced by the main character in "still alice" might be something akin to what the woman next door experiences. either way, the book is breaking my heart and i feel guilty for ever having felt slightly annoyed by my neighbour.
2/03/2010
here we are!
i hope you have your batman and care bear cards ready for the big day coming up! it's nearly valentine's day! whether or not you're a fan of celebrating the love in your life on a day of chocolate and things dyed pink and red, it's nearly impossible to ignore the day of st. valentine. the diamond advertisements on the television are turned on full-crank. every shopping centre or store is exploding with pink confetti and cards. restaurants are pushing their two-for-one specials and even the liquor store is urging us all to partake in a fuzzy night of wine-lovin'.
really, it's not such a terrible day. i have never been a turbo-fan of february 14th but i wouldn't like to see it leave. so many people genuinely enjoy it and look forward to it. it'd be a shame to deny the hardcore lovas their traditions and reasons for sporting lacy underpants. it'd be an enormous blow to hallmark's income...i'd have less chocolate-y snacks in my cupboards...but still, i can't help but feel antsy and strange on v-day.
my tenth-grade love, r., broke up with me just a day before valentine's day. i had also just had dental surgery a few days before and my face was super-swollen. he's lucky it's funny now.
in the eleventh grade, my boyfriend (aka candle) told me he loved me and gave me a ring. we had been dating for about two months. things didn't last much longer after that...
lovingly and wonderfully, my official high school sweetheart, for the v-days we shared, made for awesome february 14ths. i think it was the hand-made cards and mixed cds that really did it...and the treats, clearly.
then came the whirlwind of undergrad years + loves. i had seen my fair share of drama and disaster and never really spent v-day with anyone super-special...except for one year, when m. and i chose to don our gum rubbers to nicky zees in the middle of a hailstorm. pitchers and pitchers of molson canadian later, we threw our purses at the boys on the dancefloor and gum-rubbered it home.
last year i spent valentine's day between a waiting room and an i.c.u. unit. so did my parents, my sister and my grandparents.
this year i am determined to shake off my pink-and-red blues (!) and forget about some biting past memories. that doesn't mean i'm about to go hardcore and send a dozen roses to myself from a secret admirer (i have less funds than that allows) but i am happy knowing that those i do care about know how i feel (almost) every day of the year...and on st. valentine's day, they just get to know my sentiments in a more unusual way for day-to-day living. when i figure out how to tell them all in some spectacular way, i'll let you know.
for now, as a not-so-subtle hint to my friends and readers, if you are feeling loving thoughts (or even just luke-warm thoughts) for me, my valentine's day would be complete with a box of chocolate-chip cookies, a bottle of wolf blass yellow label riesling and a pillow-y nest.
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