you're not awesome: the bud light beer edition

after a long day of job-juggling i found myself shivering violently on a street-corner on quinpool road this evening. i was unspeakably glad to see the bus and its spitting heaters. i was silly-happy to have found a seat near the back. i was looking mega-fly in my leather jacket and tailored pants (unrelated, whatever). i remembered to pack a book in my handbag and was still thrilled to crack its spine open WHEN I LOOKED ABOVE ME AND CHOKED ON MY OWN PUKE (not really but almost).

strings of bud ight advertisements were snaking around the bus ceiling (you know the area where there are usually federal government, h&m or bell/aliant ads? there). i love beer but i do not love bud or bud light and now i can confidently say that i will sooner chug 10 guiness glasses (please, please don't hold me to this. it won't be good) than sling my lips around the edges of a bud light. the advertisement reads "bud light: an easy-drinking beer. for those who like things that are "easy" and "drinking".

now, maybe this is the fault of my own sick and terribly-farmed mind but i have a sneaking suspicion that bud light is implying that those who enjoy drunk and sexually-free women will enjoy drinking bud light (and, probably, the two things are naturally interrelated). those who drink bud light will have encounters with "things" (THINGS?!) of which are also easy and drinking (or "drinkable", depending on which ad you look at first). beer is a tasty and refreshing beverage that any person consuming should feel lucky to enjoy: you have the financial means to purchase something you definitely do not need and will enjoy it, hopefully, around a group of neat people. why do beer companies so often feel the need to objectify and degrade living, breathing people (hello, coors light girls and the maxim golf bullshit) in order to sell product? WHY DOES IT WORK?

i know why i am so angry and it's because i have a flaming need to flip the bird to bud light.

that said, fuck you, bud light. you're not awesome.