a letter of thanks

dear canada,

happy birthday! you've got 142 years of life behind you and you're still looking fairly sharp. despite your rulers' tendencies to swipe work away from the folks in my hometown and turn chubby cheeks away from many a starvin' marvin, i still like you. you are vast! you are diverse! you've got a pile of brilliant people living amongst your land-y bones! there's something about you that makes me want to stick around for years to come. don't get me wrong, i think our established free-love, open relationship is beneficial for the both of us; while i gallavant past your borders and experience the elements of which you simply cannot provide (and i do not hold this against you), you take a much-needed mini-break from one more person who tends to shower for 20+ minutes. a fraction of your resources are held and one of your inhabitants comes back loving you all the more. really, canada, i have a lot to thank you for. considering today is your day of birth and you had a rocky, drunken start (merci, john a. macdonald) i feel appropriate expressing a list of developments, features, folks, histories and memories of which i am grateful for. keep in mind, canada, that this list is of my own heart and there are many other things of which to express grace for. without any further digression, thank you for the following:

1. the music churned from one end to the other. from wintersleep, omnikrom, the guess who, the tragically hip and the tom fun orchestra, you keep me in a constant state of canadian sing-song.
2. with thanks for your music i also thank you for cbc and all of its websites, updates, song banks and articles.
3. cliche: maple syrup is awesome. nice choice on the flag.
4. thank you for the literal land you carry. it's pretty wild how a person can travel only between newfoundland and new brunswick and still encounter many a diverse terrain. rocks, sand, forests, bogs, beaches, fields, tundra, lakes, cliffs and mountains keep you lovingly pock-marked. try your best to keep your bumps, lumps and soggy parts the way they are.
5. for alden nowlan.
6. for your drama and theatrical literature.
7. for the countless, caring faces, goodness and brilliant features in the people who live here.
8. thank you for cape breton island. really, it's something special. i don't know if i'll ever manage to check out every nook and cranny but i'm thankful the nooks and crannies are in volume enough to feel that way.
9. thank you for passionate scenes and many an opportunity to enjoy them. the aforementioned music and theatre departments are lovely but so are the people who consider themselves to be sports nuts, mountain climbers, fine artists, botanists, fisherfolks, writers, academics, dancers, photographers, back-packers and countless other exciting elements ready for digging hands and feet. thanks for enabling a sticky pick and combination of nearly everything.
10. thanks for fresh air and a relatively peaceful environment (in comparison with some of your neighbours).
11. socialized healthcare and education are generally kept in good shape 'round your parts. bravo.
12. for letting us enjoy what you have to offer. i'm sorry so many of your natural resources are abused and i'm sorry for my terrible shower habits. i will try to change.
13. thanks for an often ridiculous, mostly hilarious and occasionally offensive history. it's too bad not every single canadian can experience a history class with dr. michael dawson.


there are some things, canada, that i'd like you to change. you treat your aboriginal communities poorly. women still have not reached a favorable level of comfort, safety and fair-treatment within your borders. your elections are irritating and invasive and i don't like that you've stuck your fingers into violent situations overseas. too many people live on your streets and eat nothing of nutrition. in certain places you've got some drug and violence issues needing stopping and i hear that saskatchewan is nothing special. despite my distaste for celine dion and the irvings, you've got a strong hold on my heart and i'll love you until you die. you're a dainty 142 years young so i pray i'm long dead before you are. either way, let neither of us race to the finish line, i still have too many things worth discovering about you and thanking you for.

sincerely and severely,
jb