a favorite birthday.

a letter to a dear friend who turns one year older tomorrow:

we became friends in junior high french immersion homeroom (along with the majority of students in 7CW). we'd played in sixth-grade band together but due to our opposing elementary schools (and my dire lack of cool-factor: as if the french horn wasn't bad enough) did not connect until thrust into nerdy-town at s.m.j.h.

over yellow-and-black "biker" shirts, sofa-burns, arguing over who would get to dance with ross on friday nights, super-complex (...not.) choreography for an unmentionable pop song and what we felt were, in the moment, the most mortifying moments of our entire existence, our friendship began.

after the inevitable and brow-raising (seriously. do you REMEMBER how massive our eyebrows were?) class trip to quebec came intense drama from one end of the northside to the other: my then-current boyfriend tried to beat the living snot out of my ex-boyfriend. you were one of the few, trusty hands i could hold on to when rumours unfit for a fourteen year-old were flung around town about me. i distinctly remember you writing in my yearbook, "you are one of the strongest girls i know".

with registration at m.h.s. came hundreds of new faces. choice of classes and different schedules offered a whole new level of interest to bond over and dances slowly seemed to feel more exciting if caffeinated-vodka drinks were involved. your attendance at numerous dance recitals was always looked forward to and your birthday parties even more so. layla's introduction came with your 16th birthday and we would later "learn to drive" together...ish.

we had ups and downs amongst our immediate group of friends and grew close with others apart from our original collective, which was definitely a good thing...especially during the time when your dad was ready to skin us both alive (whoops!). when you had questions and worries over barn-folk, i'd listen over shared brownies. when i was too sick to campaign for student government elections, you took care of it for me (over shared brownies later).

moving into vanier hall together definitely tested our limits with one another. i am certain we learned far too much about one another in too small a space, in too short a length of time. regardless of small-space roommate-stresses (and the learning processes that came with losing our shit on each other), our positive memories, i think, outweigh the negative. pre- and post-class dance parties (seems to be a common theme throughout our friendship), unexpected admittances into various establishments as under-agers, the friendships built with fellow 3rd-floor users-and-abusers, shared worries over your travellin' "faja llama" and late-late-l.a.t.e-night questions and confessions turned our sometimes-rocky first year into something worth laughing at later.

second year we smartened up and requested single rooms. third year we were ever-bright and sought out our first apartments. entrance into our final year as undergrads brought us schedules that occasionally connected (yessss) and stresses unbeknownst before. as academic requirements piled and levels of mental and physical health declined, we grew closer still.

after the most fantastic christmas break to date, we unwillingly trenched our way back to fredericton (in one of the worst snowstorms we'd ever experienced). just as i thought life could not feel more tense, it seemed to unravel in front of me. you were the first person i called on january 21st.

you kept me sane and focused when i was thisclose to shutting my books for the semester. you were a consistent, supportive rock to my unpredictable, squishy noodles. your happened-by-chance excitement in life (b!) offered insight and light into mine. you, who at every end of conversation reminded me how much you loved me and how far hope can fly, never cease to amaze me.

now living on the opposite end of the country from you, i had little clue how to give you an appropriate "happy birthday, you're lovely" when your face is so far away from mine. i hope this is sufficient and i hope you enjoy your day (and night). i wish i could celebrate with you, bebeh. shee-ya later! (i couldn't help myself...)

i adore you and i miss you. happy birthday, vanessa!